Log in

No account? Create an account

Next Entry

Essay: The Clock Strikes Twelve


Sitting back in my chair, I let my shoulders relax. I smiled to myself and was confident that everything is going to be ok, the clock has struck twelve and it is better than ever. With the first episode of Series 8 of Doctor Who, Deep Breath, I was anxious yet excited to see what Peter Capaldi would do with The Doctor.

Stephen Moffatt says that The Doctor is ‘…not necessarily looking for your approval…’[1] while Mark Gatiss says that this Doctor will ‘…not immediately going to be your best friend and can be quite abrupt and rude.”[2] It is these two traits that I identify with. I finally accepting the way I am – and if people don’t like me than that doesn’t worry me, and my mother has told me on numerous occasions that I can come across as abrupt and rude in some situations.

What was also a lovely touch is that this doctor shares an acid tongue, although a PG-rated version of it, with Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It. When The Doctor reveals his disguise of the rubber mask he greats them with ‘Hello! Hello! Rubbish robots from the dawn of time.’[3] The Doctors’ cynicism is a welcomed change for me. I much prefer it then the whimsical, carefree nature of the past two doctors. The way I deal with stupid people in my life, and at times there is a lot of them, is to take two opposing traits that they have and relate them through wisecracks. If nothing more, it brings me a little solace in this world that I inhabit.

Peter has expressed about The Doctor he portrays that, ‘He’s more alien than he’s been for a while. He doesn’t quite understand human beings…’[4] and although I am one of them, I have a hard time understanding them as well. I live in a world where I am singled out for what I cannot do. Society focuses on that I am 'alien' to them and they don't quite know how to deal with me. They don't seem to get that I am exactly like them, only some of my wiring got mixed up and thus some parts of me short-circuited. Whereas The Doctor is a Timelord with two hearts, I am a human being with one twisted one: we are both being judged for being the only thing we can be in life.

The reaction when Peter Capaldi was announced as the new doctor was one of disgust from the fangirls mainly because of his age. Stephen Moffatt is known to be one writer who listens to the fans of a loved TV series. He incorporates this into the series, '...I’m accustomed to seeing through a veil... I wear a veil as he wore a face... for the oldest reason there is for anything. To be accepted...I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courteouscy to such people but as a judgement of the quality of their hearts.'[5] Madame Vastra says to Clara, as she is having trouble dealing with The Doctor's new appearance. As I watched the episode, I began to see myself being projected back at me. It has been nearly seven years that I have had my right wrist permanently straightened in order to gain acceptance from society of what to them is seen as an abnormality. Prior to this my wrist was severely disfigured, on one occasion I was told by a barrister's secretary that, '...people will look at your hand and automatically think you have a mental disorder...' with no mention of this is illegal and that there is a law forbidding this. It was this encounter that made me bow what they require, my wrist being straightened to look less alien in order to fit in.

There is one thing above all that I love about writing: the amenity of it. I can write something without the threat of people judging me on the way I look. After his regeneration, The Doctor feels the same way I have felt when I walk into an interview. When I walk in they see my wrist or my scars, focus on that, and don’t notice me. 'You can't see me can you? You look at me and you can't see me; do you have any idea what that's like?... I’m right here – standing in front of you. Please just…just see me.' The Doctor pleads with Clara to accept him the way he is: wrinkles, grey hair and Scottish.

Although I have been a fan of Doctor Who since its return and have watched classic episodes, I never felt like I had found a version of The Doctor that I connected with straight away. Until now. The clock has struck twelve, and with Peter Capaldi’s take on The Doctor I can say that finally, I have found My Doctor.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 14th, 2014 12:33 pm (UTC)
This is really awesome that you've connected so well with Peter's Doctor. Loved reading this! I bet if you met him in person he would be really happy to hear that he is YOUR Doctor because of all this. <3
Sep. 15th, 2014 06:28 am (UTC)
Yeah.... well I have waited so many years for 'not flirting' and the snarky/playful comments are me all over. As I say to any of my friends, 'The more I insult you, the more I like you.' I wonder how I could get this too him? or even if I should try...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )